This blog is part of task on Thinking Activity On "Translation Activity Worksheet - Using Gen AI for Translating Poems" topic which was given by professor Dr. Dilip Barad for reference blog click here. Certainly, here's a unique and intriguing answers so, this blog is through out given under this topics...
Poem 1:
Hindi Translation:
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग
मैंने समझा था कि तू है तो रोशन है ज़िंदगी।
तेरा ग़म है तो दुनिया के झगड़ों का क्या मतलब,
तेरी सूरत से ही बहारों को ठहराव मिला।
तेरी आँखों के सिवा इस दुनिया में रखा क्या है?
तू जो मिल जाए तो क़िस्मत भी झुक जाए।
ऐसा नहीं था, बस मैंने चाहा कि ऐसा हो।
और भी दुःख हैं इस दुनिया में मोहब्बत के सिवा,
मिलन की राहत के अलावा और भी सुकून हैं।
अनगिनत सदियों के अंधेरे और बर्बर जादू,
जो रेशम, अटलस, और कमख़ाब में बुने हुए हैं।
कूचे और बाज़ारों में बिकते हुए जिस्म,
मिट्टी में सने हुए, खून में नहाए हुए।
बीमारियों की भट्टी से निकले हुए जिस्म,
गलते हुए नासूरों से पीप बहती हुई।
नज़र फिर वहीं लौट जाती है—क्या किया जाए?
तेरा हुस्न अब भी लुभाता है, मगर क्या किया जाए?
और भी दुःख हैं इस दुनिया में मोहब्बत के सिवा,
मिलन की राहत के अलावा और भी सुकून हैं।
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग।
English Translation:
Do not ask me for the love I once gave you, my beloved.
I once believed that with you, life shone brightly.
If your sorrow is mine, what worth are the troubles of the world?
The beauty of spring found permanence in your face.
What is there in the world beyond your eyes?
If I have you, even destiny would bow.
But it was not so—I only wished it could be.
There are sorrows beyond love in this world,
And comforts too, beyond the bliss of union.
Centuries of darkness, savage enchantments,
Woven into silk, satin, and brocade.
Bodies sold in the streets and markets,
Smeared in dust, drenched in blood.
Bodies forged in the furnace of diseases,
Pus dripping from festering wounds.
The gaze keeps turning back to them—what can one do?
Your beauty still enchants, but what can one do?
There are sorrows beyond love in this world,
And comforts too, beyond the bliss of union.
Do not ask me for the love I once gave you, my beloved.
1. Identify and discuss:
-
Which parts of the poem were challenging to translate? Why?
- Cultural Connotations:
- Phrases like "दरख़्शाँ है हयात" (radiant is life) and references to silk, satin, and brocade carry deep cultural and historical weight. Translating these accurately while maintaining the poetic imagery was challenging.
- The concept of "हयात" (life) itself has nuanced meanings in Urdu/Persian poetry, going beyond mere existence.
- Poetic Form:
- Preserving the intricate rhyme scheme and meter of the original Urdu ghazal was a significant hurdle. The structure of Urdu poetry differs significantly from English, making direct translation difficult.
- The use of specific poetic devices like tasvir (imagery) and tashbih (similes) in Urdu required careful consideration in English.
-
How were cultural connotations and collocations handled in the translation?
- ChatGPT:
- Used evocative imagery like "spring's promise" and "savage enchantments" to capture the essence of the original.
- Retained the metaphorical depth of phrases like "bodies sold in the streets and markets," reflecting the social commentary within the poem.
- Gemini:
- Simplified some cultural references to make them more accessible to a wider audience.
- For example, "bodies forged in the furnace of diseases" is a more direct translation than "जिस्म निकले हुए अमराज़ के तन्नूरों से."
-
Were there untranslatable words or phrases? If yes, how did the AI tools resolve them?
- Yes, several words and phrases were challenging to translate directly.
- ChatGPT:
- Used creative paraphrasing and imagery to convey the essence of untranslatable words.
- For example, "दरख़्शाँ" (radiant) was translated as "life shone brightly."
- Gemini:
- Sometimes simplified or adapted the meaning to make it more understandable in English.
2. Explain the choices and considerations made during translation:
-
Did the meter or rhyme scheme influence the translation?
- ChatGPT:
- Yes, the translation attempted to maintain a similar rhyme scheme and meter to the original, though it was not always possible to achieve a perfect match.
- Gemini:
- Less emphasis was placed on maintaining the original meter and rhyme scheme.
-
Were any liberties taken to retain the poem's tone and emotion?
- Both translations:
- Some liberties were taken to ensure the poem flowed smoothly and the meaning was clear in English.
- This included minor adjustments to syntax and word choice.
- ChatGPT:
- Prioritized preserving the melancholic and reflective tone of the original.
Overall:
Both translations present different interpretations of the poem. ChatGPT's version prioritizes artistic beauty and cultural depth, while Gemini's version focuses on clarity and accessibility. The choice of which translation is "better" depends on the reader's preferences and priorities.
Poem 2:
Gujarati Translation:
વધતો જતો ચક્ર ફરે છે અને ફરે છે,
બાજ હવે બાજીરને સાંભળી શકતો નથી;
વસ્તુઓ તૂટી પડી રહી છે; કેન્દ્ર હવે ટકી શકતું નથી;
વિશ્વમાં ફક્ત અરાજકતા છૂટી પડી છે.
લોહીના ધુમળા વાદળ જેવી લહેરો વહે છે, અને સર્વત્ર
નિર્દોષતાનો વિધિ વિલુપ્ત થઈ ગયો છે.
શ્રેષ્ઠ લોકો દ્રઢતાની ઉણપ ધરાવે છે, જ્યારે સૌથી ખરાબ
તીવ્ર ઉગ્રતાથી ભરેલા છે.
નિશ્ચિતપણે, કોઈક ખુલાસો નજીક છે;
નિશ્ચિતપણે બીજું આગમન હવે આવી રહ્યું છે.
બીજું આગમન! આ શબ્દો તાજા જ હતા
જ્યારે Spiritus Mundi માંથી એક ભયાનક છબી
મને પરેશાન કરે છે: ક્યાંક રણની રેતીમાં
સિંહના શરીર અને માનવીના માથાવાળું આકાર,
સૂર્ય જેટલું નિર્દય અને ઠંડા નજરવાળું,
ધીમે ધીમે એની જાંઘો ખસેડે છે, તેની આસપાસ
રણના રોષભર્યા પક્ષીઓની છાયાઓ ભમરાય છે.
અંધકાર ફરી છવાય છે; હવે હું સમજી શકું છું
કે આ વિસ સદીઓની પથ્થર જેવી ઊંઘ
એક હચમચાવનારા ઝૂલતા પાલનાથી
ભયાનક સપનામાં બદલી ગઈ છે.
અને તે શું ભયાનક જીવ છે, જેનો સમય આવી ગયો છે,
જે બેથલહેમ તરફ જન્મ લેવા ઝૂકતું જાય છે?
Hindi Translation:
घूमते हुए और फैलते हुए चक्र में,
बाज़ अब अपने शिकारी की बात नहीं सुन पाता;
सब कुछ बिखर रहा है; केंद्र अब संभल नहीं पाता;
दुनिया पर केवल अराजकता हावी हो चुकी है।
रक्त से सनी ज्वार की धुंधली लहरें बह रही हैं, और हर जगह
मासूमियत का अनुष्ठान डूब चुका है।
सबसे अच्छे लोग दृढ़ विश्वास की कमी से पीड़ित हैं,
जबकि सबसे बुरे लोग उग्रता से भरपूर हैं।
निश्चित ही कोई रहस्योद्घाटन पास है;
निश्चित ही दूसरा आगमन निकट है।
दूसरा आगमन! यह शब्द अभी-अभी कहे गए थे
कि Spiritus Mundi से एक विशाल छवि
मेरे दृष्टिकोण को झकझोर देती है: रेगिस्तान की रेत में कहीं
शेर के शरीर और इंसान के सिर वाला आकार,
सूरज की तरह कठोर और निर्दयी दृष्टि के साथ,
धीमे-धीमे अपनी जांघों को हिला रहा है, और उसके चारों ओर
क्रोधित रेगिस्तानी पक्षियों की परछाइयाँ मंडरा रही हैं।
अंधकार फिर से गिरता है; अब मैं समझता हूँ
कि ये बीस सदियों की कठोर नींद
एक झूलते पालने के कारण
दुःस्वप्न में बदल गई।
और वह कौन-सा भयावह जीव है, जिसका समय आखिर आ गया है,
जो बेतलहम की ओर झुकते हुए जन्म लेने जा रहा है?
Analysis of W.B. Yeats' "The Second Coming" Across Given Parameters
1. Syntax
- ChatGPT:
- Utilizes a more formal and complex syntax. For instance, lines like "ઘુમરતા ઘુમરતા અને વિસ્તરતા ચક્રમાં" in Gujarati mirror the original's convoluted yet rhythmic structure, staying closer to Yeats’ layered syntax.
- In Hindi, "सब कुछ बिखर रहा है; केंद्र अब संभल नहीं पाता" preserves the English structure with similar pauses and emphases.
- Gemini:
- Focuses on natural flow and simplicity. For example, in Gujarati, "વધતો જતો વર્તુળ ઘૂમતો ઘૂમતો" is straightforward and direct.
- Hindi phrases such as "शिकारी अब अपने बाज़ को नहीं बुला पाता" reflect conversational fluency but lose some of the original’s complexity.
2. Metre and Sound
- ChatGPT:
- Attempts to maintain rhythmic fidelity. Lines like "रक्त से भरी हुई धुंधली लहर" in Hindi retain a musical quality similar to the original.
- Gujarati translation retains poetic cadence, e.g., "ઘુમરતા ઘુમરતા અને વિસ્તરતા ચક્રમાં" creates a rolling rhythm that mirrors Yeats’ dramatic tone.
- Gemini:
- Simplifies metre for natural readability. This results in smoother but less rhythmic lines, e.g., "વધતો જતો વર્તુળ ઘૂમતો ઘૂમતો" lacks the rolling resonance of Yeats' verse.
- In Hindi, "रक्त-रंजित ज्वार", though evocative, loses some of the original's alliterative impact.
3. Lexicon and Grammar
- ChatGPT:
- Uses elevated and poetic vocabulary, such as "બાજબાન" for “falconer” in Gujarati and "बाज़बान" in Hindi.
- Grammar is precise but leans toward formality, occasionally making the translation less accessible to modern readers.
- Gemini:
- Employs simpler, more colloquial lexicon. Words like "શિકારી" for “falconer” or "शिकारी" make the translations accessible but dilute some of Yeats' grandeur.
4. Cultural Connotations
- ChatGPT:
- Retains Biblical and apocalyptic references explicitly, keeping the original’s theological resonance. For instance, "Spiritus Mundi" is untranslated, preserving its mystical connotation.
- In Gujarati, "વિસ સદીઓની પથ્થર જેવી ઊંઘ" echoes Yeats’ imagery but feels alien in a local context.
- Gemini:
- Adapts references subtly for cultural relatability, e.g., avoiding direct Christian imagery to resonate more with local traditions.
- Biblical metaphors are softened, which makes the text less ominous and less rooted in Yeats' eschatological themes.
5. Treatment of Key Elements
- Biblical References: ChatGPT retains the apocalyptic tone of "The Second Coming" explicitly, ensuring theological accuracy, while Gemini interprets it in more universal terms.
- Apocalyptic Imagery: ChatGPT vividly translates the ominous mood, especially in lines like "અંધકાર ફરી છવાય છે; હવે હું સમજી શકું છું". Gemini prioritizes narrative coherence but sacrifices some of Yeats' menacing atmosphere.
- Cultural Adaptation: Gemini excels in making the text feel native to Gujarati and Hindi audiences, though at the cost of Yeats' dramatic complexity.
Overall Effectiveness
-
ChatGPT:
- Strengths:
- Maintains fidelity to Yeats' structure, imagery, and apocalyptic tone.
- Appeals to academic readers seeking a faithful representation.
- Weaknesses:
- Overly formal, limiting accessibility for modern readers.
- Cultural resonance is weaker due to untranslated Western references.
-
Gemini:
- Strengths:
- Accessible and relatable language for general readers.
- Better cultural adaptation, making the poem more engaging in Hindi and Gujarati.
- Weaknesses:
- Loses much of Yeats' poetic and thematic depth.
- Simplified syntax and lexicon reduce the text's dramatic tension.
